Mindfulness is a Key Component of Compassion

By Angela Lunde (Mayo Clinic)

Many people think of compassion as a virtuous way of expressing care, concern, or empathy toward the suffering of another individual. Yet it’s also important to think about compassion toward one’s self. Until we have self-compassion, it is difficult to offer it to others.

Dr. Kristin Neff says in her book “Self Compassion” that self-compassion involves three core components:

• Self-kindness
  It’s important to be gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental. Both caregivers and persons living with dementia tend to be very hard on themselves. Often, they think that they aren’t good enough, not worthy, or feel that they are not living up to some perceived expectations. They may believe they are a burden, feel inadequate, or sense that society makes them feel so.
• Connection
  Self-compassion requires that we feel connected with others in the experience of life, rather than allowing suffering to isolate us and alienate us from others. But as many of us recognize, there is a long way to go to eliminate the isolation and alienation that many caregivers and persons living with dementia experience. This is where family, friends, support groups, specialized programs and even Connect2Caregivers can help.
• Mindfulness
  Mindfulness is being fully aware of our actions, thoughts, feelings, and surroundings, as well as our interactions in each moment. Mindfulness is about identifying all feelings in a way where they are neither suppressed nor exaggerated.

A number of studies suggest that when we bring feelings into awareness and describe or name them, we diffuse the negative energy that accompanies them. In other words, mindfulness can help us live with less emotional reactivity and turbulence and move toward calm, and perhaps even more happiness.

In a Huffington Post article, author Marguerite Manteau-Rao describes mindfulness as “the cultivation of intentional moment-to-moment awareness, without judgment ... Mindfulness slows us down and takes some of the edge off our reactive tendencies.” I’d say this includes being aware of the reactive tendency to view a person with dementia as less competent or a lesser person.

Mindfulness brings with it the ability to see the person living with dementia as a whole being. When this occurs, the relationship between the caregiver and the person living with dementia can transform into one of reciprocity. And then, an incredible shift happens. Instead of an encounter where there is a caregiver and a care receiver, there is simply a caring relationship. An interconnectedness takes place between two people and compassion is born.